Subtitles by explosiveskull
[man narrating] The night before we left, I couldn't sleep.
I couldn't stop thinking about Chris Kanew
and how he quit and all the things he said.
Brad, I loved working with you so much,
and I learned a lot from you,
but this job has made me kind of depressed.
I thought about how I taught this kid everything I knew
and how he was my only employee
and how pathetic it all was.
Then my mind drifted to the dinner party...
and the Architectural Digest.
[chattering]
You were talking about a change. Try this.
This is like imitation confit.
Really?
[woman] Isn't that your friend from college?
[narrating] I knew Nick had become rich and successful, but...
I felt gut-punched.
I felt like the world was rubbing my nose in something.
[chattering]
So many friends from college had become successful.
[chattering]
Nick Pascale was a big movie director in Hollywood,
living this crazy, decadent life.
Jason Hatfield had his own hedge fund.
Obscenely rich.
Owns three houses.
A big philanthropist.
Billy Wearslter sold his tech company at 40.
He's already retired,
living a life of leisure in Maui.
Craig Fisher worked for the White House.
He's written all these best sellers.
Always on TV.
It's stupid to compare lives,
but when I do...
I feel somehow I failed.
And over time, these feelings get worse.
- Brad. - Shit.
- Oh, my. - Sorry.
You okay?
What the hell? You just hit me in the face.
- I'm sorry. - It's okay.
- I can't sleep. - Oh.
How much do you think your parents' house is worth?
My parents' house?
I don't know.
Like, uh, two million?
Two and a half?
I don't know.
You never thought about it?
What does it matter?
Aren't you getting the house when they die?
When they die?
I think they're considering leaving it all to the grandkids.
- What do you mean? - Like splitting everything between the grandkids.
That... What? Steve has three kids.
He's already rich. We only have one. How's that fair?
It's not up to me.
They also talked about just giving it all to charity, so who knows?
Seriously?
That's absurd.
Seriously, that's mean.
You work for a nonprofit and you think that's absurd?
Right. I work for a nonprofit. You work for the government.
We need the money.
Look, I'm gonna be so distraught when my parents die,
I'm not gonna give a fuck about the money.
Really?
Not at all?
I think you will.
And what about your dad?
You have money coming to you.
He's an academic. I mean...
200,000 maybe.
Well, that'll help pay for Troy's college.
Is that why you're worrying about money?
We'll be fine.
We'll figure it out.
We didn't work this hard to end up dying in a flophouse, you know.
All right, you're freaking me out.
I just feel like we're running out of time.
I feel like there's no more potential.
This is it.
We've plateaued.
It's not like there's gonna be some... windfall
that, you know, suddenly changes our situation.
I mean...
We're not poor, Brad.
In some circles, yeah.
What circles? The one percent?
We have a great life.
Go to sleep.
I think you should talk to your parents and get some clarity.
- You and I are done. - I love you.
Please shut up.
[Brad] Troy?
[woman] Troy, are you up?
Oh, yes.
Hello.
What is your name?
I know your name.
You have 10 minutes.
Uh, yeah, I just gotta put on my clothes.
Can you give me a second?
Yeah. You have, like, the body of a man now.
Dad, can you not be weird? 'Cause I'm stressed.
Okay.
Can you close my door?
Yeah.
Can you close the door?
Yeah.
[woman] Yeah, it looks good. Did you bring a jacket?
- [Troy] Yeah. - [woman] Okay. It's gonna be cold.
- [Troy] Yeah. - [woman] I think you guys are gonna like this.
[Troy] Yeah, I think it'll be good, I guess.
[narrating] On the ride to the airport,
I kept thinking about what Chris Kanew said.
So, wait a minute. You're going into banking?
Look, Brad, I honestly think I can do so much more good
by making a lot of money and then giving it away,
instead of spending all my time asking other people for their money to give away.
You... You know what I mean?
- [woman] You have the hotel information, right? - Yeah, on my phone.
Will you forward it to your dad? I don't think he has any sense of the schedule.
Do you, Brad? I don't think he has any idea.
- So it's really on you, honey. - Okay.
[narrating] There are moments you realize your entire life's work is absurd
and you have nothing to show for it.
[chattering]
[man] Or maybe it was Kim Jong Un. Or Kim Jong Il? Was it the father?
- [man 2] It was Il. - That's the father.
Some guys have empires.
What do I have?
I live in Sacramento, a secondary market,
surrounded by mediocrities and beta males.
It was an interview. It was Terry Gross. With All Things Considered?
But you were talking about the guy in the prison before.
- The vegetarian guy, right? - Oh, yeah.
It's a private prison in Georgia,
and they have meat in every dish.
This guy just said, "I'm gonna stop eating meat."
They got him tied down. They're force-feeding him through a tube.
He just keeps saying, "Vegetables. Vegetarian. Fruits."
[narrating] This is not where I thought I'd be.
It's not the life I imagined.
[woman] Oh, honey, it's gonna be so cool.
This is great.
[Troy] Mom, I think I'm just gonna take Old River Road.
[man on recording] For your safety and security...
- [Troy] Is this good? - [mother] Yeah.
Call me all the time. I wanna know everything. This is so exciting.
- Yeah, thanks, Mom. - I love you.
All right. Should be good.
- I can't believe this. This is crazy. - I know.
It just feels like a big moment. I'm so jealous.
I can't believe I have to go to this stupid conference.
Flight info's all on your phone,
- and the hotels, it's all on there. - Great.
- All right. Be happy. Be present. - Love you. All right.
- I love you. - I love you, honey.
Oh. Take lots of pictures!
- Love you! - [Troy] Love you!
Economy entrance is that line.
But I have a Silver Flyer card.
It's Gold and Platinum only.
Next, please.
[TSA officer] Enjoy your flight.
- You know what I'm thinking? - Hmm.
Let's try for an upgrade.
What do you mean?
We're going off to find your college.
And I don't know when you and I are gonna take a trip like this again.
Let's fly business, okay?
- Really? - Yeah.
Okay. Cool.
I, uh... I never flown business.
Let's make this fucking special, okay?
Okay.
Oh. Good news.
There are two seats available in business.
Oh.
- Can I see your tickets, please? - Awesome.
Yeah.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
I was hoping to put it on my miles.
I got a bunch of miles, I think.
Unfortunately, no, not with this flight you can't.
So cost to upgrade to business would be $821 per ticket.
So the total would be $1,642.
$1,600?
- That's for a domestic flight? - Yes.
1642.
Would you like to go ahead and purchase the tickets?
I... am gonna go for it.
Go for it. Put in on my Amex.
Actually, sorry. Put it on my MasterCard.
- Thanks. - Gonna put it on the Amex.
Just...
Okay. Sorry.
Great. Let me just run that.
Yeah, it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
Mm-hmm. Mr. Sloan, actually, unfortunately we can't upgrade you.
- I'm sorry. - What? Why not?
It seems as though you bought those tickets on a discounted website,
and with that type of ticket, we can't do the upgrade.
Okay. But not even if I pay you $1,600?
There's actually no amount of money you can pay to get an upgrade.
I'm so sorry. Anything else?
Uh, no.
It's not a big deal anyway.
Okay. And what if I'm a Silver Flyer member?
I'm sorry. Next.
Champagne?
- Oh. Thanks. - Thank you.
[flight attendant] Enjoy your flight.
[baby crying]
[crying continues]
Sorry I couldn't get us the upgrade.
No, it's not a big deal.
Silver Flyer card means nothing.
Gets you nothing at all.
Then get rid of it.
Yeah. I'm gonna. Tossing it.
Should I? I should, right?
Mmm.
Stupid...
I'll keep it for now.
[man rapping on headphones]
[narrating] I couldn't help but wonder,
when was the last time Craig Fisher flew economy?
- Probably not in decades. - Mr. Fisher?
Can I offer you a warm towel?
A warm towel.
Yes. Thank you.
Mmm.
I know Jason Hatfield has his own private plane.
Never has to fly commercial at all.
Nick Pascale probably flies private too.
Thank you.
Must be nice to always have the seas part for you.
Nothing's out of reach.
Can I have this one?
- Okay. - Thank you.
Everything an option.
Must be like a drug,
always feeling important and special...
and better than.
And all the adventures.
The exotic destinations.
Au revoir!
For them, the world isn't a battlefield.
It's a playground.
A dream.
It's heaven...
manifested.
Dad, can I get some Pringles? They're $7.00.
- Yeah. - I need your credit card.
[pilot on PA] There are 45 minutes left on the flight.
Keep your seat belt fastened. Enjoy the rest of the flight.
[snoring]
[narrating] Eventually, my mind drifted back to college.
Back then, I was in love with the world,
and the world was in love with me.
When did we fall out of love with each other?
Where did it all go wrong?
My thoughts turned to Melanie.
It's unbelievable. It's fucked up.
They've got kids, little elementary school kids,
doing these mass shooting drills in their schools
because everybody has to have a gun.
I love Melanie's idealism,
but maybe that idealism prevented me from ever selling out.
Jason Hatfield married a woman who had money of her own.
She introduced him to rich clients,
gave him entrée and status.
Diane Fisher's famous in her own right.
She and Craig competed with each other,
pushing each other to succeed.
- Here. - Oh.
But Melanie, she's so easily satisfied.
It's good.
- Seriously? - Yeah!
- Honestly? - Yeah. I always love your sauces.
Maybe her contentment undermined my ambition.
[cell phone ringing]
Hey! Hi, honey.
- Hey, you in Boston? - Yep. We made it.
Yeah, we're on our way to the hotel.
Oh, good. How's Troy doing?
- He's good. - Good.
Yeah, he's, uh, drinking in Boston.
I can't blame Melanie for my decisions, or anyone else.
It's my fault.
Dad.
You wanna get some food? All I've eaten today is that can of Pringles.
Yeah. Let's do it. I'm hungry too.
Yeah, let's get some food.
[woman singing in Chinese]
[Brad] And then Thursday, rent a car
and drive to Amherst and then Williams.
These are competitive schools, Troy.
Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself. You know what I mean?
Don't get caught up in the game, all the brands.
You know, "Williams," "Harvard," all that.
It just... It all works out.
- In the end, you end up at the right place. - I'm not really worried.
Okay.
You know, when I was your age, I was so freaked out about college.
I wanted to go to Yale.
Obsessed, right?
I mean, why Yale? I didn't even know why.
And then I got wait-listed,
and then I didn't get in.
Right? Guess what.
It all worked out.
I loved Tufts.
Tufts was a fantastic school.
I made great friends.
I met that professor, Bob Connor?
Took me under his wing.
You know, kind of blew my mind and changed my life.
Made me wanna save the world.
So...
Anyway, my point is, fuck Yale, okay?
And you don't get into Tufts, fuck Tufts.
My counselor thinks that I'll get into Yale.
- She does? - He does, yeah.
He does. Why does he think that?
Uh, I mean, I guess my grades and scores and my compositions.
I guess a lot of these schools are looking to fill orchestral spots.
And he's pretty confident I'll get in pretty much everywhere I apply.
You look stunned.
He thinks you're gonna get into Yale?
Yeah.
Really? That's amazing.
I knew you had good grades,
and I always thought you were a genius, but I just...
That's so awesome, Troy.
But we're not, um, visiting Yale.
Uh, yeah, I don't really wanna go to Yale.
Why not?
Um, well, I'm hoping that I get into Harvard,
'cause there's this music professor there, this guy Jerome Backaly,
and he's doing, like, a lot of really cool stuff,
and, you know, it's just a really cool program.
My friend from school
says that there's a concert Wednesday night that she's playing,
and he might be there, so...
You're going to Harvard.
Well, maybe, you know. I don't know.
- Does your mother know about this? - She knows I want to.
I can't believe I didn't know about this.
What do you mean? You knew that we were coming here.
I knew we were checking out the school,
but I didn't know you're actually gonna get in.
Well, I might not get in.
But it seems like you might.
Oh, yeah, I might.
- My kid's going to Harvard. - [laughs]
Don't fucking jinx me, dude.
- You all right? - Yeah.
Life's crazy, huh?
I mean...
how cool.
I'm proud of you.
[narrating] Sometimes in life,
you can lose the plot.
[Brad on video] You wanna play something, buddy?
[narrating] I suddenly remembered what I'd been doing for the last 17 years.
Planting and nurturing for this amazing creature.
How could I have regrets?
If I'd stayed in New York and married a striver like Diane Fisher...
No, that is bullshit.
Troy could've turned out entitled and pretentious.
Dad, don't be so cisgender.
Yeah, Dad, don't be so cis.
If I'd pursued money and power,
he might've become a spoiled little monster.
- [sniffs] - Save one for me!
Yeah! Whoo!
Toblerone.
Oh. Thanks, Son.
Thank God for Sacramento.
What?
Ooh! Checking your phone!
Are you ticklish? Tickle Man! You remember Tickle Man!
- No. - You used to love this.
- No. - Tickle, tickle.
Please stop.
Oh, yeah. I got... Oh!
Oh, my God! Okay, please stop. Troy. Troy, seriously, stop.
Ha-ha!
[both laughing]
Troy! Troy!
That night, I imagined Troy getting into Harvard
and the satisfactions it would bring.
Hey! Hey, guys!
Hey!
I got in!
Aah! Whoo!
Oh! Harvard!
All right! Honey!
Harvard!
Not a bad place to go to school.
No.
Wow.
This is where we go. Let's go.
You have a son or a daughter?
A son, yes. He's interviewing.
Mine too.
Yeah, my son is a very talented musician.
Keyboards.
Pianist.
Yeah.
Also composes his own music, so...
Wonderful.
Looks like he's gonna have a lot of decisions to make.
Hmm.
But I'm pretty sure Harvard is gonna be in the running.
Oh, you think Harvard's got a chance?
Uh, what does your son do?
What does he do?
He's a student in high school.
Right. Okay.
Hey.
What's going on? Is it over?
Uh, no. I got the day wrong.
What?
I got the day wrong. It was yesterday.
Yesterday? What do you mean?
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I fucked it up. It was yesterday.
Well, did they give you a time to come back?
Um, no, I mean, I think they're really booked up.
But they said, like, I can just do an alumni interview back in Sacramento.
No. No. No, you don't wanna do that.
You wanna do it with one of these guys. These are the guys that decide.
Right?
Dad, I'm just gonna go on the tour.
- This is no big deal. - It is a big deal. I'm gonna talk to 'em.
- What? You don't need to talk to them. - Yes, I do.
We didn't come all this way
for you to interview in Sacramento.
Excuse me, sir. Hi.
I'd love to be able to accommodate you guys,
but our schedule's been set for months now.
I just want you to get a sense of my son. Harvard is his first choice.
Dad, it's okay.
[Brad] He's a pianist. He does community service.
His counselor says he's Harvard material.
It's not necessary to interview here.
Alumni interviews are just as effective.
Well, okay. I mean, I know how important face time is.
You know, we're here. Come on. Don't shine us on.
- Dad. - I mean...
No. Can't you just sit with us for 10 minutes?
I mean, he's right here.
What are you guys doing right now?
I have a staff meeting, sir.
[whispering] Dad, please, please, please, please stop.
- Please stop. - Okay. Stop.
Okay. All right.
Thank you.
Come on. Let's go.
Dad, what the fuck?
You think arguing with the admissions officer's gonna help my chances?
- He won't remember this. - I think he will.
How can someone who has the brains to get into Harvard
not have the brain to remember what day he made an appointment
so he can get into Harvard?
I'm sorry. Can we please talk and walk somewhere else, please?
- 'Cause they're about to start a tour. - So what?
I don't want everybody seeing me getting bitched out by my dad.
I'm not bitching you out. I'm trying to solve a problem here.
I know you think you got this in the bag, but this is Harvard, Troy.
Even geniuses get rejected.
Oh, my God.
You realize you're competing with kids from Hong Kong and everywhere, okay?
You're a white kid from the suburbs without a sob story.
And you're not even a legacy. We're the underdogs here.
We need to do everything we can.
Dad, I'm about to flip the fuck out. Please shut up.
Okay, let me think.
Just...
Okay, why don't you go on the tour, and I'm gonna, um...
- What are you gonna do? - I'm gonna make some calls.
Just don't do anything uncool.
[cell phone ringing]
- Hey! - [Brad] Hey.
So Troy messed up,
and we're at Harvard, and he doesn't have an interview.
He got the day wrong.
Do we know anybody at Harvard?
I really wanna get him an interview. I mean, I just want them to meet him.
Who's at Harvard?
Like, uh... Like, uh... Like... Like...
- Yeah, yeah. Like, um... - Like...
Like a dean.
Babe, Harvard is Troy's first choice. Did you know that?
- Yeah. - And his counselor thinks he can get in.
- Did you know that? - Yeah.
- Who do we know at Harvard? - Uh, I don't know.
I mean, I gotta think. Like, um, Toni Morrison.
Toni Morrison?
You know Toni Morrison?
No.
No, she's at Princeton, Melanie.
What the fuck are you talking about, Toni Morrison?
I don't know. Who would I know at Harvard?
You know people in government.
Someone must've gone to Harvard. I mean, think.
- It's Troy's future. - Okay.
Um... Oh.
Craig Fisher teaches a class there. Doesn't he?
Uh... What?
No. Does he?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I read that somewhere. He's a visiting lecturer or something.
He drives up from DC.
No, he lives in New York now.
Well, he drives up from New York then.
I mean, I'm pretty sure he lectures there, teaches a class, something.
Fuck.
What?
No, I think you're right, now that you mention it.
Shit.
What's wrong?
I just... I don't wanna call him.
Why not?
Ugh.
Damn it.
What's the big deal?
All right. All right, I'll call you later, okay?
- Okay. Can I talk to Troy? - [line beeping]
[narrating] Working up the courage to call Craig,
I remembered the first time I'd seen him on TV.
[woman on TV] I'd like to welcome Craig Fisher to the conversation.
He's a former White House press secretary,
who now works at the Heller Institute.
He's also the best-selling author of Political Animals.
Craig, who's responsible for this congressional...
[narrating] It was like a ghost I'd conjured to haunt me.
[Fisher on TV] As were the forefathers.
But we have a system, for better or for worse in this country,
of checks and balances,
to make sure that there is no one demagogue...
[narrating] It wasn't just a fleeting jealousy.
It was real pain.
Why is it so painful?
What was wrong with me?
I thought about the last time I saw him.
We'd both been in New York for different reasons
and decided to meet up.
I'd just started my nonprofit and was full of enthusiasm.
We would kind of be a clearinghouse for that
and kind of like a matchmaking...
sort of a social media matchmaking organization
that would find the organizations that need the money,
find the people who wanna give money, bring them together and...
[narrating] I was hoping Craig might wanna get involved in some way,
offer up his famous friends, even donate money.
But he never took the bait.
Back in Sacramento, I decided to be more direct.
I sent him an e-mail, asking him to come onto my board of directors.
I wrote about the worthiness of the cause and my deep respect for Craig
and how much it would mean to me personally.
But I never heard back.
You know, they say politics is show business for ugly people.
Any whiff of show business, I think people really respond to...
[TV clicks off]
[narrating] In fact, I never heard from Craig again.
Oh, fuck it.
[automated female voice] Your call cannot be completed as dialed.
[cell phone ringing]
Brad?
Hey! Yo, Billy!
How you doing, man? What's up? How's life?
Oh, life is good, man.
It's fucking excellent.
You're, like, retired.
Amazing.
I know.
You're, like, uh, living the dream.
Yeah, pretty much.
Although I'm not really retired.
I put some money into this little beach bar here,
and it just blew up.
And now we're franchising across Hawaii. We're coming to the mainland.
So that's keeping me pretty busy.
Wow. That... That sounds great.
And I've got these two beautiful wahine who live with me.
And they're fucking gorgeous and they're fucking cool.
And they make these amazing necklaces out of shells and shit.
And I'm helping them open a store.
Huh.
We surf, then we fuck,
then we surf.
It's awesome.
[laughs] No. Wait.
So, you seriously... you have two girlfriends that you live with?
Yeah, well, it's pretty fluid, you know?
Anyway, what's up with you?
Um, I'm... I'm great.
I'm here in Boston with my son, Troy,
- and we're visiting colleges. - Yeah?
Yeah, he's probably gonna go to Harvard.
Yeah?
Sweet!
Yeah, he's a pretty smart kid.
- He's the real deal. - Oh, awesome.
Uh, anyway, hey, do you happen to have Craig's number?
I wanted to ask him something, but I think that he changed it.
Oh, yeah. I'll text it to you. I just saw him in LA at Nick's wedding.
Nick got married?
To who?
To Xavier, who is actually very cool.
It was a beautiful ceremony.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, no, I didn't know about it.
Oh, well, it was real small.
Somebody asked about you. I forget who.
Mm-hmm.
They were, like, asking about,
you know, where you were or whatever happened to you, or... I don't know. Who was it?
Who was it? Someone saying, "Where's Brad?
I remember that guy Brad."
Oh, well, I'm just, uh... I've just been doing my thing.
Dude, it's good to hear your voice.
My dog took a shit, though, so I gotta pick it up.
Okay.
Well, I'll, um...
I'll talk to you soon, man. It's really good to talk to you also.
And, uh, yeah, if you could text me that number.
Yeah, yeah, I'll send it right away.
Come to the island sometime, brother.
Later.
Yeah. Okay.
[narrating] For a moment, I imagined Billy's life in Maui,
with two young girlfriends and the great sex he must be having.
[Hawaiian music playing]
[all laughing]
Then I thought about Melanie
and what was left of our sex life.
[cell phone ringing]
[line ringing]
[automated female voice] Please leave a message for...
- [man] ...Craig Fisher... - ...at the beep.
[beep]
Uh, hey, Craig, it's, uh, Brad Sloan. How you doing, man?
Uh, I'm in Boston,
and, uh, my son...
Um, if you, uh... if you could...
If you have time, can you give me a call?
Um, it's kind of on the urgent side, so, uh...
Thanks, man. Bye.
[narrating] Not being invited to Nick's wedding confirmed a creeping fear.
Not only had I not lived up to my own expectations,
I'd failed in the eyes of others.
I pictured the wedding party.
Everyone there basking in each other's glow.
It wasn't friendship that bonded them
but a perceived level of success.
Whether I was forgotten or excluded
made no difference.
I was off the list.
A nobody.
A nothing.
The world hated me, and the feeling was mutual.
Are you okay? 'Cause you seem a little off.
Hmm.
No. I'm just, um,
stupid.
What?
[sighs] Uh...
Some... I don't know... Some old friends got together
and didn't invite me, and so,
you know, 'cause I guess... 'cause I'm not...
Um, you know, whatever.
It's just... It's random.
What? You're kinda mumbling.
It's not something I would've even wanted to go to even if I was invited, so...
Just... I don't know... kinda lame.
- I'm sorry. - Hmm.
No.
It's ridiculous.
They sound like dicks.
Hmm. Yeah.
[cell phone ringing]
Hello.
Hey, it's Craig Fisher.
Hey! Craig. What's going on?
Is everything okay? Did someone die?
What? No.
No, nobody died.
Well, you sounded kinda weird on your message
and you said it was urgent, so I...
No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... No.
It's just I'm up here at Cambridge with my son,
and we're looking at Harvard,
and he had an interview, or was supposed to, at the admission's office,
and someone messed up over there.
So, um...
You know what? Hang on a second. I'm in a restaurant.
Hey. Yeah. So anyway, I heard that you teach a class there.
Really? That would be so amazing. Thank you. Yeah.
You know what? Actually, I'm flying up there tomorrow.
You guys still gonna be around?
Yeah, we're here... we're here tomorrow.
We're here till Thursday. We leave Thursday.
Why don't we get some dinner?
That would be great. Yeah. Oh, and one last thing.
Troy is a musician.
I mean, like a true prodigy.
And there's this music professor...
I'm not just saying that 'cause he's my kid, but...
Hey, Troy.
Troy. What's the name of the professor?
- What? - What's the name... Hang on.
What's the name of the music professor you like?
Um, Jerome Backaly?
Jerome Backaly.
- Jerome Backaly. - Yeah.
Sure. I'll give him a call.
That would be terrific, Craig. Man, I owe you.
No problem.
So, dinner tomorrow.
That'll be great. I'll pick a place.
Have a great taping.
Thanks, man. Bye.
What's going on?
Dad.
I'm on it, okay?
I'm on it.
[cell phone ringing]
- Hey, Craig. - Hey.
Guess what. I'm in a bookstore
and I'm looking at your book right now.
Great. So I've got some good news.
Just got off the phone with the dean of admissions.
Seriously?
You're in luck.
Guess who you have a meeting with tomorrow.
- Who? - Jerome Backaly.
- What? - Yeah.
And then after that, you have an interview with the dean of admissions.
- No way. - Way.
- Are you serious? - Totally serious.
- Wow. - [laughs]
- What? - Yeah, man.
Oh!
Now I'm nervous.
No, come on.
Uh, wait. Shit, tomorrow I'm supposed to have Tufts though.
Fuck Tufts.
Yeah.
Yeah. We'll go in the afternoon.
- Dad. - Yeah.
- You're the fucking king, man. - Got you, pal.
What do you think, Troy?
I'm going to Harvard!
[narrating] Coming through for Troy made me giddy.
Try it.
Maybe this was the first in a long series of victories.
Oh, my God.
I pictured Troy as an adult, happy and wealthy.
- Even famous. - I'll get all of 'em.
- Here you go. - It's our son.
For you. It's our son.
It's our son.
I love you both so much.
And all of my success is because of you.
- Aw! - Ohh!
- Thank you. - And guess what.
[Brad, Melanie] What?
I bought an island.
- What? - Yeah!
I pictured his triumphs eclipsing those of my contemporaries.
And how gratifying that would be.
Suddenly, my thoughts darkened.
These victories...
how desperate to claim them as mine.
They would be his.
[Troy on TV] My dad, like, whenever he sees a photo of me
on the Internet or in a magazine,
for some reason he thinks it's, like, my obituary.
- [applause, laughter] - And I have, like, died.
It sounds like your dad might be a little crazy.
Crazy? Uh, yeah, a little. I would say, um...
- Like maybe this. Maybe more. - Maybe, yeah...
- Maybe a little more. - Maybe a little bit more than a little.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[narrating] What if Troy lorded his success over me
and hoarded it away?
It sounds like your father might be mentally ill, in need of some help.
[narrating] What if, in the end,
Troy's wins made me feel even more the failure?
What if I became envious of my own son?
The thought horrified me.
[man] ♪ Lose yourself in nature And find peace ♪
♪ Troubles will come ♪
♪ Troubles will release ♪
♪ Lose yourself in nature And find peace ♪
[narrating] Then again,
musicians rarely make money.
Even with a Harvard education, Troy could easily end up a struggling artist.
♪ Troubles will come ♪
♪ Troubles will release ♪
♪ Lose yourself in nature And find peace ♪
♪ Chickens and children Know it all ♪
Or maybe he'll take after Melanie.
Perfectly satisfied with practically nothing.
♪ We may reach great heights ♪
♪ But ever will we fall ♪
♪ Chickens and children Know it all ♪
♪ Lose yourself in nature And find peace ♪
Hey. If you're just gonna be a musician,
do you even need to go to college?
What?
It's a fair question.
- "Just a musician"? - Yeah.
I'm just saying, do you need a Harvard diploma
if you're gonna play music in a band?
Isn't that what you wanna do?
I don't know what I wanna do, Dad.
Okay, well, you better start thinking about it, 'cause this isn't cheap, Troy.
And you're assuming a lot if you think that I could pay for all this
without taking out loans or you taking out loans
or trying to get scholarships or financial aid.
What the fuck just happened?
- I'm thinking out loud, okay? - I don't expect you to pay for everything.
- Are you not gonna be able to pay for everything? - We'll see.
- I don't want you to worry about this yet. - Clearly.
It might not be a big issue. Maybe one of your grandparents will die.
- Hey. - [Troy] Hey.
- How you doing? - Good. How are you?
Uhh! This is my dad, Brad.
Hey, Dad Brad. I'm Ananya.
Hey.
So you guys were friends at Country Day.
We were in orchestra together.
Yeah, Ananya's a really amazing musician.
And now you go to Harvard.
- Yeah. I'm a junior. - Wow.
- Are you liking it? - Yeah, it's great.
I mean, it gets really cold, but I love my classes.
Really great people. Yeah, no complaints.
Uh, I made a reservation at a restaurant around the corner.
- So shall we go? - Yeah.
- Cool. - Let's do it.
[Ananya] It's good to see faces from home.
It's so cool you got that meeting with Jerome Backaly.
- How did you manage that? - My dad's friends with a professor here.
Oh, yeah? Who?
His name's Craig Fisher.
Ooh. What?
- What? - You made a face.
I did?
[Troy] Yeah, you definitely made a face.
It's okay. You can say whatever you want. We're not close or anything.
We were friends a long time ago.
Well, I took his class last year,
and he's kind of the worst.
- Should I not have said that? - No, say it. What?
He's just... He's condescending
and... I don't know... he's pretty sexist.
He's got this air of someone who thinks that they know everything
just because he's on TV and has got contacts at the White House.
But how do you really feel?
Honestly, by the end of his class, I wanted to quit my major.
Aren't you a music major?
No, government.
My dad majored in government.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, communications and government.
This was at Tufts.
So what do you do now?
I have a nonprofit I started a few years ago.
- Really? - Yeah, yeah.
We help other nonprofits use social media
to get the word out about what they do.
You know, find donors, members.
So it's like crowdsourcing or...
A little bit of that. Basically, we're a consultant.
- Sounds boring. - No, no, no, it doesn't sound boring.
It sounds amazing.
Oh, well, thanks.
Yeah. Uh, actually, I'm writing my thesis on NGOs.
Maybe I could talk to you at some point.
- Of course. Whatever you need. - Cool.
Thank you.
So tell us about your thesis.
- Really? - Yeah.
- You wanna know? - Yeah.
Okay, well, um, it's not fully formed yet,
but I wanna write about the history of white missionary women.
Like, you know, the wives who went to India and Sri Lanka to,
you know, like, convert the heathens,
but really they laid down a lot of groundwork for social reform.
[Brad thinking] I remember this.
This feeling.
This girl with all her idealism,
her sense of purpose,
her hope.
...as it relates to women's rights,
and how one of the sad legacies of colonialism
is that they really had no part...
[Brad thinking] I remember these nights.
These conversations.
The plans to change the world.
[low, indistinct]
A longing to connect.
One time I told him that my dream job was to work at Amnesty International,
and he was, like, devastated.
So you're lucky.
- You're lucky that your dad's so cool. - [Troy chuckles] Yeah.
- Oh, hey. - Hey.
This is my friend Maya, you guys. Hi.
I told her to stop by. I hope that's okay.
- So, uh, you go to Harvard too? - Yes, I do.
Yeah, Maya's in orchestra with me. She plays the violin.
And what instrument do you play?
I play the flute. Yeah.
- The flute. Oh, wow. - Yeah.
[Maya] I just don't feel like it's my job to be the ambassador to all these Chinese students.
I mean, of course I wanna help them assimilate,
but first of all, I'm fucking Korean, okay?
And second of all, I don't even speak Mandarin.
[Brad thinking] Her friend Maya was equally captivating.
Equally compelling.
I suddenly felt a deep grief...
for all the women I would never love...
and all the lives I would never live.
I imagined running away with them both and starting again...
[all laughing]
what that might look like.
[laughing]
- That was so funny. - [laughing]
- Really great, right? Yes, it was pretty funny. - [laughing]
- [Ananya] You were there, you know? - I know. [laughs]
- [Maya laughs] - Thank you, guys, so much for dinner.
- Yes, thank you. - Yeah. Well, thanks for taking the time.
I know Troy appreciates it.
Yeah, Troy's very grateful. Thank you.
Well, we're meeting a few people at The Druid for drinks, if you guys wanna come.
Oh, yeah? Where's that?
Uh, just across the street.
Oh. Um... Yeah, you know what?
Troy's got a bunch of meetings tomorrow, so we should probably get some sleep.
Not even for one drink?
I'm not 21, so I probably can't even get in.
Oh, that's right. Shit.
Yeah, but you guys have fun, all right?
And we'll see you tomorrow night for the concert.
We will?
No, you can't,
'cause you got dinner with your friend.
- Oh, right. - But I'm gonna go.
- Craig Fisher. - [inhales sharply] Ew.
- Eee. - Have fun with that.
Yeah, yeah.
[laughs] Okay, well, uh, bye, huh?
- [Troy] Bye. All right, I'll see you tomorrow. - Cool.
- Bye. It was nice meeting you. - Yeah, great to meet you.
- Thank you so much for dinner. - All right. Yeah, of course.
- Thank you so much. - Bye-bye.
- Enjoy school. Okay. - Thank you.
Kinda seemed like you wanted to go.
Oh, no. No. Just being polite.
Hmm.
[woman] Your book, as we heard, starts with a warning
that readers might be better off with a more cheerful book.
Why did you decide to start your book that way?
[man] Well, it seemed only fair, um, to warn anyone who was, uh, who was seeking cheerfulness.
- Troy? - And, um, also,
when I sat down...
Troy, you awake?
- [chattering] - [music playing]
Hey. Hi. Uh, I think I'll just, uh, close out my tab.
- [bartender] Uh, just the whiskey? - Yeah.
Eight dollars.
- Hey. You made it. - Hey. Yeah.
Yeah. Just had a little insomnia, so I got a whiskey.
Well, we're over in the corner. Come join us.
Oh. Uh, nah.
You guys are having a good time. I... I just couldn't sleep.
Oh, come on. And we're not having fun.
We're organizing a protest.
- Yeah? That's cool. - Mm-hmm.
- I'm very impressed by you. - Yeah?
Yeah, I think it's really cool,
a person your age who's so aware of what's going on,
but you're hopeful, and you seem to have your values in the right place.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
Reminds me of when I was your age and going to school.
So what's your advice to me?
- My advice? - Yeah.
If you were to go back in time and give yourself advice, what would you say?
Ahh. Ooh. Seriously?
Yeah. Honestly, I'd love to know.
Honestly, I would probably say,
"Forget nonprofits, Brad. Just go and make a lot of money."
[laughs] Shut up. You aren't serious.
No, I'm totally serious.
If you wanna make an impact in the world and have respect, go be Bill Gates.
Go make a lot of money, and then you can do whatever you want with it.
- That's what you would say? - Yeah.
I go to a dinner party and tell people what I do for a living,
and for about three minutes, they act like they admire me and they're interested.
And then, uh, after three minutes, I'm invisible.
They do not admire me.
And what's worse, they think I'm gonna ask them for a donation, which I usually do.
Mm-hmm.
What? Do I sound jaded?
Just know I started out as idealistic as you or any of your friends over there.
And I'm not saying what you do isn't...
[narrating] I could tell I'd lost her.
Lost her respect.
And I wanted it back.
I thought if I could summarize the trajectory of my life,
she would understand me,
see me as someone who'd lost the good fight
but had fought it nonetheless.
I mean, when I was in journalism school, that was the ideal, you know.
Everybody wanted to be Woodward and Bernstein, you know what I mean?
- You know who they are, right? Yeah. - Yeah, of course.
I told her about my career mistakes,
my years in journalism just as the newspaper business was folding.
My attempt to start a digital magazine in San Francisco
but how no one wanted to read long-form pieces anymore.
And how I'd won a few prestigious prizes
but my magazine had still gone bust.
Yeah, we won a Peabody. I mean, you know, not that that matters, but...
I talked about my friends from college
and how they'd sold out and gotten rich
and didn't invite me to their milestone events,
even though I'd been the heart and soul of our group.
I may have failed in their eyes, but at least I still had my integrity
and could sleep at night.
[Brad] And there are guys like Craig Fisher who...
He has no moral compass, and he'll just basically pivot to whatever sound bite
or talking point makes him seem the most interesting, the most...
He's very, you know, telegenic. I get it, you know.
I told her about my nonprofit.
Even though it had been struggling lately,
I still felt I'd done some real good with it.
But maybe if I was more in touch with the people that I was helping
or out in the field more, I would be a little less disconnected or, um...
Wha... What is that look?
What?
That... No, what are you thinking?
What am I thinking?
Yeah, please, tell me.
Honestly...
I'm thinking you're really lucky.
You're 50 years old, and you still think that the world was made for you.
[chuckles]
Um, I'm 47.
Do you even know poor people?
Of course.
Okay, well, when I visit my mother's family in Delhi,
a lot of people out there only live on two dollars a day.
They're not complaining about
being ignored at a dinner party.
They're happy they get dinner.
Right, but I'm not competing with those people.
You compete with the people who are markers in your life.
Why are you competing at all?
It-It's the way the world is. I mean...
You competing with your friends from college,
that competition is the history of colonialism, okay?
And-And the oppression of women
and the fucking up of the environment.
Oh, come on. Don't go there.
[laughs] I'm not part of the problem, okay?
I work for a nonprofit, for fuck's sake.
It's just, from where I sit,
it kinda seems like white-privilege, male-privilege,
- first-class problems. - Hmm.
Okay. I-I...
You know, I know I might seem like some cliché to you,
but this is actually my life, okay?
Just don't ask me to feel bad for you.
You're doing just fine.
Trust me,
I promise you,
you have enough.
Yeah, you too. I'll see you around.
All right. So long.
[wind whistling]
[waves crashing on shore]
[all laughing]
Hey, Troy!
[all laughing]
Dad.
- Dad, we gotta go. I got my meeting. - Mmm.
Oh. Mmm.
I'm hungover.
[snickers] What? You had one glass of wine.
Mmm.
[narrating] I couldn't stop thinking about Ananya and the things she said
and the contempt she had for me.
[Jason] Do we have any left at all, girls?
I doubted she'd ever live up to all of her ideals.
Okay, I'm gonna resign.
It's like, how 'bout, like, plantains...
- Mmm. - and daiquiris.
One taste of luxury, how quickly she'd forget the suffering of the masses.
I can't believe that I met you girls.
I knew I was just trying to make myself feel better.
Ananya had a good heart.
She reminded me a lot of Melanie.
[no audible dialogue]
Oh, shit. Melanie.
Hey, it's Melanie. Leave me a message.
- [beep] - Hey, hon.
Uh, trip's going great.
Troy's meeting with one of the music professors here right now,
and then he's got an interview with the dean of admissions.
So, yeah, it all seems to be working out. Uh...
Oh. Actually, Troy's coming right now.
I'll call you back later.
Yeah, I got dinner with Craig Fisher tonight,
so I'm really looking forward to that, as you can imagine.
Uh, okay. I love you, honey. Bye.
- Hey. - Hey. How was it?
It was, uh, good. He listened to some of my stuff.
- I think he liked it. - That's awesome, Troy.
See? There you go.
Connections and talent. I give you the layup, you swish it in.
That's great, man.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Okay. You seem a little, uh...
You should be happy. You should be pumped.
Yeah. No, I am. I don't...
He just wasn't what I expected, but, you know, he was fine.
How was he not what you expected?
Um...
Mmph. Uh, I don't know.
It's just weird, 'cause it's, like,
he's kinda one of my heroes, but it seemed like he was trying kinda hard to impress me.
And he was sort of bragging a lot, and he was, like,
a lot more into the business side of things, too, than I would've thought.
Like he kept telling me ways I should monetize my music.
Just like a bunch of weird stuff like that.
Um, I don't know. I just thought that he would be cooler.
You know, uh, don't be so judgmental, Troy.
Hmm? You've been living in a bubble.
Remember that, okay?
So don't go judging people living in the real world
until you've actually been out there yourself, okay?
Okay, but you asked me a question,
and then I just said that he wasn't what I expected.
No, you said he wasn't cool.
But what's cool to a 17-year-old hipster
who doesn't pay his own bills isn't necessarily what's cool to the rest of the world.
- Okay. Fuck, yeah. - Okay?
I'm just saying, talk to me in 30 years, then you can tell me who's cool or not.
Uh-huh.
You know, you're fucking nuts.
I'm about to go on my interview. Do you really need to be jumping all over me right now?
Troy...
Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I love you.
You're the best. You're the best son.
You know I feel that, right?
- Dad... - I know you're gonna kill it in there.
Can you leave me alone? I'm gonna go try and clear my head.
- I'll meet you after. All right. - Okay.
- Hey, Troy. - Yep.
I'm proud of you.
[man] Want to follow me, please?
Is that your daughter?
- Yeah. - She's got her interview now?
- Oh, yeah. - Hope it goes well.
My son's meeting with the dean, so, uh,
he's been a little on edge.
- Good luck. - Thanks.
[ringing, buzzing]
Hello.
Hey, Brad, it's Jason Hatfield.
Hey, Jason. Hang on a second.
It's been a long time. What's up?
Uh, my office said you called me.
Oh, yeah, right. I was actually, um,
calling for Craig's number, but I got it from Billy.
Oh, okay, good. Well, uh... All right, look, I...
I heard you guys all got together in LA. How was that?
I don't really have time to talk. It's just not a good time right now.
[chuckles] Mm-hmm.
- Okay, well... - Listen, I don't mean to be rude.
It's just I've got all these clients looking for me, and I'm in Minnesota.
I'm at the Mayo Clinic, and I'm waiting on some test results,
and I've gotta make a noon flight back to New York
or I'm gonna miss this deposition that I've been preparing for months, so...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I got it. I hear you.
At least you know the plane will wait for you, right?
I-I don't understand.
I mean, you have your own jet, right? That must make it a little easier.
A jet?
Are you being an asshole right now, or...
What? No. No, I'm serious.
I don't own a jet. What are you talking about?
I thought... I swear you told me once you had a private plane.
What? No.
In San Francisco.
When I saw you, you said you just were on your...
My company leased a plane and flew everyone out there.
Okay, well, I misunderstood.
Listen. I just found out that my daughter has a tethered spine, okay?
She's fucking three years old.
What?
Oh, no, man. I'm...
Jason, I... [stammers] Wha-What does that... What does that mean?
I don't know what it means, except, uh,
she's having major surgery in the morning, and, uh,
she's just, uh, she's so little, you know?
Oh. My God.
And it's killing me.
Listen, we're sitting down with the doctors right now. I gotta go, Brad.
Okay. Okay, well, well, uh, keep me posted,
and please give my love to your family,
and, uh, I'm-I'm really sorry.
[line beeping]
Aren't you gonna ask me how it went?
- What? - The interview?
Yeah, of course. How'd it go?
It was, uh, it was really good.
He said Jerome Backaly had already called him
and told him that I was talented and to pay attention to my application.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Troy, that's amazing. - Yeah.
- Are you happy? - Yeah.
Good, man. Come on.
Let's get this guy, right?
Hey, we're going to Tufts University.
- [Brad] Do you mind if I don't go on the tour with you? - Okay, sure.
- There's an old professor of mine I wanna go say hi to. - Okay.
- I think I told you about him? - Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah, it's right down there.
My old dorm's that way.
Hi. I'm an old student of Professor Connor's.
I was hoping I could say hi to him. Is he, uh...
Oh. You-You just missed him.
- He just left? - No.
Um...
I'm sorry to say he died
just a few weeks ago, so...
He died?
But his name is still on the, uh, directory.
I know. We have to change that.
- I just got in here, so... [chuckles] - Oh.
How did he die?
He had a stroke
and he never recovered.
- Oh. That's so sad. - Mm-hmm.
Yes.
He was a great teacher.
He was a sweet man.
Okay, well...
have a nice day.
Thanks. You too.
[chattering]
[phone ringing]
- Hello? - Hey, Brad.
I saw you called. Everything okay?
Yeah, everything's great. Yeah, it's great.
Hey, Mel. I just, um...
Just... Isn't it crazy how... [chuckles] we made this kid,
and now he's this...
brilliant, amazing person?
I wish you were here.
Aw, so do I.
Well, honey, we're getting ready to go into the conference.
I should probably go.
Um, but I love you. I'll call you tonight?
Yeah. Okay. Okay, great. I love you too.
I liked Tufts. It's a good school. I think I'd be happy there.
- And, you know, you went there. - [Brad] Yeah.
[water running, stops]
Yeah, thanks for bringing me here, Dad, and going all out and everything.
Oh. I didn't do anything.
No, I mean, you made all those calls, and now you have to go to dinner with a guy you hate.
I don't hate him.
I like him.
You said he was a jerk and you hated his guts.
Nah, he's a good guy. He's, uh... He's an old friend.
I'm actually looking forward to seeing him.
Old friends are important.
I'm heading out. I wish I could go to your concert, but have a good time.
- All right. - Bye, man.
- Have fun. - I'll see ya.
Hi. I believe I have a reservation for two at 7:00.
- Name is Sloan. - Okay.
All right. Follow me.
Yes, you are the first to arrive.
- [door squeaks, slams] - Oh, okay.
Do you happen to have another table? It's a little loud right here.
We're fully booked tonight.
How about that one?
I'm sorry, but it's not available.
Oh. Looks like it's available.
Yeah.
It's not.
Mm-hmm.
- [squeaking] - [kitchen noises]
Thank you.
- Hey, buddy. - Hey, man!
[both laughing]
- Look at you. You look good. - Oh.
- I'm goin' gray. - Oh. Not as bad as me.
We failed in life.
Hmm?
Failed to stay young. [laughs]
- [chuckling] - Come on. Grab your beer. We're moving tables.
Oh. Okay.
I guess this table was available.
Yes. Enjoy your dinner.
- Thank you so much for coming tonight. - Oh.
We love having you.
Ah. Can I get a Jack and Coke?
Absolutely. I'll get that for you myself.
Thank you.
You must be a regular.
Never been here before, but I hear it's good.
Really? She's acting like you guys are best friends.
- Oof... - Oh.
- 'Cause she recognizes you? - [chuckles]
- That must be nice. - Ah.
[both laughing]
- Oh, man. Dude! - Oh.
- How long has it been? - It must be over 10 years.
Yeah. Man. It's so good to see you.
Really, really. Really good to see you.
It's good to see you, pal.
- Welcome to Boston. - Thank you.
Where you staying?
We're at, uh, the Oak Tree Execustay.
Wow. I've never heard of anyone staying there.
Is it nice?
- Yeah. It's not bad. - Hmm.
So listen, thank you so much for getting Troy in
to meet with that music professor and the dean of admissions.
That was huge. And he had really great meetings.
- Oh, I'm glad. - Yeah.
I can't believe he's already looking at colleges.
No. Me either.
Well, I guess, you know, my girls are too.
They're only 12, but they're all over it.
- They're writing out their little applications. - Yeah, well...
They're so much more on it than we were.
Yeah, I know, right? Troy has a great attitude about it all.
Yeah. Is he medicated?
No.
Ah. Thank you.
My pleasure.
- So... how's Melanie? - [chuckles]
Mmm. [smacks lips]
Uh, she's great. Yeah, yeah.
She really likes her job, and she's always been pretty happy.
Diane just, uh, sold an article to HBO.
- They're gonna make a series out of it. - Oh. Cool.
- [cackles] - Wow.
Yeah. So, uh, I went to Tufts today.
- Bob Connor died. - I know. I know.
- You knew? - Yeah. Well, I spoke at his memorial.
Oh. You did?
Yeah, we'd been in touch.
He'd asked me a few times to speak in his class
about journalism and government.
Oh. He did? That's... flattering.
Yeah, I usually try and get out of that stuff,
but, you know, for him.
Such a good person.
Yeah. Yeah, he was the, uh, closest thing I ever had to a mentor.
Oh, right. That... Yes.
You were his favorite back in the day.
Yeah. I wish I'd been there at his memorial. Wish I'd known.
If I had seen you at Nick's wedding, I would've told you about it.
It happened right after.
Yeah. I didn't know about Nick's thing either.
[chuckles] Well, you didn't miss much.
Nick has gotten...
I mean, I love the guy,
but the more successful he gets, the gayer he gets.
- [chuckles] - [laughs]
He's like a full-on flamer now,
with the hairless dudes in banana hammocks
running around his house humping each other.
Yeah, I saw that house in Architectural Digest.
Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like the set for a sci-fi gay porno or something.
- Huh. - [chuckles]
[sighs]
I, um, talked to Jason today.
Oh. Yeah? How is he?
- Uh, he sounded stressed. - [snickers]
His, uh, his kid's sick.
I think she has something wrong with her spine.
Oh, that sucks.
Wha... Uh... Which one?
He has, like, four.
I think I might've offended him.
I thought he had his own jet for some reason,
and I brought it up, and maybe I sounded glib.
I don't know, but he seemed annoyed at me
that I accused him of having his own plane.
I felt bad.
He does have a plane.
- No, he doesn't. - Yes, he does. [chuckles]
No, his company maybe leases one for him.
Yeah, that's his company. His company, his plane.
- Are you sure? - Did you not read the piece in the Times?
Oh, my God. He's getting sued.
Yeah. He lost a lot of money for a lot of powerful people.
He-He's running scared.
- Oh, my God. That's... Uh, I... - [chuckles]
Might be why he was a little, uh, sensitive about it.
Yeah, I guess, uh... Huh.
I thought... Guess I got that wrong. I don't know.
No, Jason is a pillar of society.
He is a... He's a family man.
You know? He's a good dude.
And he's a total crook. [snickers]
- Really? - Yeah, he's a thief!
I mean, there's a chance, albeit slight, that he goes to jail.
- Rea... Jesus. - Yeah.
You don't get rich like that by being an Eagle Scout.
- Mmm. - Hmm.
He should do what Billy did. He should flee.
Yeah, Billy. Right.
He's really living the dream, huh?
- Two girlfriends? - Ah.
- Just don't call him after 5:00 p.m. - [chuckles]
- Why not? - What do you mean?
He's a drunk.
- He is? - Mmm!
And a... [humming] And a... Ooh!
- Shut up! What? - Don't be naive. You knew that.
I mean, when I talked to him on the phone, he sounded okay.
[stammers] It was early in the morning. He was walking his dog.
He'd probably been out all night on a bender.
No, come on. In his defense, he's got a lot of time on his hands.
You pick up vices.
Oh, wow. I'm so in the dark.
That is what happens to you when you drop out and you move to Sacramento. [laughs]
I... I moved to Sacramento. I didn't drop out.
Why did you move to Sacramento?
Because Melanie got a job there.
Yeah. And I can work anywhere right now.
Oh, that's right. You have your little, uh, thing.
Oh, that is... Now, that is a cool thing that you're doing.
- Thank you. - That is good stuff.
I'm sorry I didn't get back to you about that.
Oh, it's all right.
It just came at a moment when I was getting bombarded.
You know, it's like every day I'm being hit up for requests.
Speaking engagements
and writing introductions to someone's book
and being asked to sit on boards,
executive boards, not-for-profit boards.
There's just not enough hours in the day. Sometimes you gotta...
You gotta just draw the line, as hard as it is.
- Mm-hmm. - You know? You gotta learn to say no.
Just yesterday I was asked to speak at the Aspen Ideas Festival in June.
Well, that one I'm gonna do, but that's cool.
That's interesting people, well-curated.
- Hey, Craig? - Yeah.
Listen, I just want you to know, uh...
I'm proud of you.
- I really am. - Oh.
Yeah, I know you must be under so much pressure,
having so many balls in the air and everything that's going on,
but, you know, from the outside...
It's not that stressful. It's... It's fun.
I'm just happy for you.
- Well... - To be honest,
at first, when I'd see you TV...
it kinda bothered me a little.
Just 'cause, you know, we always had our little competitive thing.
But, um... [clicks tongue]
You know, I'm happy in my life, you're doing what you wanna do,
and things work out the way they should.
Yeah.
I was never competitive with you. [chuckles]
Well... I mean, come on.
Really?
I mean, uh, maybe in school for like a second, but...
I haven't thought of you like that in years.
You haven't thought of me that way? What...
What do you mean by that?
Why would I compete with you?
Oh, come on. Shut the fuck up.
- [chuckles] - What?
Look, I'm trying to be real with you, all right?
Let's, you know, I mean...
Like, do you... [chuckles]
Do you even know what I do?
- Is it... - I mean, I actually help people.
I-I-I...
I just don't... I don't...
Why would you... treat me like this?
Tr-Treat you? Like what?
I just... What am I to you?
Excuse me, Mr. Fisher. Hi. Uh, my name is Mark.
- Hi. - Uh, I'm such a big fan of yours. I...
I love your work, your books, just everything.
I was wondering if I could take a picture with you.
You know, my mom died, and you never said anything.
Like, you follow me on Facebook. You know?
I-I just... I don't know.
I don't know.
Sorry. Am I interrupting?
- No, no, no. Go on, go on. - Okay, thank you.
- [shutter clicks] - [Mark] Great. Thank you.
I... Are you my friend?
Or... Are you? I don't know.
I mean, are we even... What are we?
I just don't... All the shit-talking and...
Just it's like, I-I...
Right now I'm feeling like...
I know what I'm feeling, and it's not...
Okay, I'm genuinely confused. What's going on?
Sorry. Thank you for helping my son.
But I can't... I'm sorry. I can't... I can't...
Can't do this.
I don't know. Whatever this is, I can't...
[chuckles]
[sighs]
Sir?
Your ticket.
Yeah. Thank you.
[tuning instruments]
Excuse me.
- Dad. - Hi.
- [exhales] - What happened to your dinner?
Yeah, I'd rather be here with you.
- Those are the girls from last night. - I know.
[plays Dvorák's Humoresque No. 7]
- They're so good. - Shh.
[narrating] A sudden rush of feeling flooded through me.
I spent so much time in my mind puffing myself up,
tearing myself down.
I sat there and just listened...
and let myself really feel the life inside me.
[music continues]
The music was beautiful.
The girls were beautiful.
I could love them and never possess them.
Just like I could love the world and never possess it.
I still did love the world.
- Dad? - Yeah, I'm good.
I'm good. I'm good.
- You want one? No? - Thanks.
Ananya said you met up with her last night.
Yeah. Uh, I couldn't sleep.
Just a drink.
Hey, Dad, are you having some kind of nervous breakdown or something?
No.
No, it's just...
Sometimes I, uh...
have doubts.
Just...
I worry that people look at me and think of me as...
a failure.
[stammering]
Then the feeling passes and so...
[Troy] Mmm.
You know, when we were walking around today
and you were embarrassing me, I kept thinking, like,
"If I go to this school, everybody here's gonna remember this,
and I'm never gonna be able to live this down."
But...
you know, they're not gonna remember,
because everybody's just thinking about themselves, you know?
Nobody cares.
And the only person that's thinking about you is me,
so the only person's opinion that you should really care about is mine.
Yeah?
What's your opinion?
I love you.
Thank you.
[wind whistling]
[narrating] My son.
He's here.
We still have years together.
I try to imagine the future.
[waves crashing]
[wind whistling]
I kept saying in my head...
"We're still alive.
I'm still alive."
Subtitles by explosiveskull
[Dvorák's Humoresque No. 7 plays]
[music continues]
[music ends]
- [guitar plays] - [director] Action!
♪ Lose yourself in nature And find peace ♪
♪ Troubles will come ♪
♪ Trouble will release ♪
♪ Lose yourself in nature And find peace ♪
♪ In love Be happy, loyal and free ♪
♪ You may have others ♪
♪ You may stay with me ♪
♪ In love Be happy, loyal and free ♪
♪ Chickens and children Know it all ♪
♪ We may reach great heights ♪
♪ But surely we may fall ♪
♪ Chickens and children Know it all ♪
♪ God is not full of hate ♪
♪ Some may use him To fend their fearful ways ♪
♪ God is not full of hate ♪
♪ Lose yourself in nature And find peace ♪
♪ Troubles will come ♪
♪ And these troubles Will release ♪
♪ Lose yourself in nature And find peace ♪